Hope: A Personal Update

:: this post is part of the ‘hope’ series. it includes bits + pieces of  my journey with depression, anxiety + insomnia with the hope that it will illuminate, expose, + help ::


Throughout this series + on this space I’ve wanted to stay honest when it comes to this particular journey I’m walking. And so, I thought I’d fill you in about the psychologist’s appointment I had yesterday; my first for 2013.

My appointments last year were weekly for about 6 or so weeks, to monthly, to then every couple of months as I was getting better. The last couple of appointments I had to take the same questionnaire I did at my very first doctor’s appointment – this was to gauge what my ‘levels’ were when it came to depression + anxiety. Over the months, these levels have slowly been dropping.

Yesterday when I took the test, for the first time it was well in the ‘normal range’. Most of the symptoms I originally had are no longer existent or present in my life. Big woo!

Because of this, I’m now on the journey of becoming anti-depressant free.

I’ve been on them for 7ish months + never intended nor wanted to be on them for even a year.

They aren’t my lifesaver.

They aren’t something I want to become dependent upon to help  me function.

They were always a tool to be used to help me become motivated to change my behaviour + re-route the chemicals in my brain.

And apparently they’re working.


:: how? :: 

Remember how in one of my previous posts I was saying I’ve decided to Read, Write, + Run/Walk everyday? Well, it’s because of those three things that I am now allowed to begin getting off the tablets – they’re a key influencer in my progress + are having some amazing effects.

See, these three things give natural highs + make life more enjoyable. There’s a reason doctors + health professionals always recommend taking a walk or run outside (note: ‘outside’, not a gym session. You need the open space, breeze, + sunshine) – they release ‘happy endorphins’ that truly benefit your wellbeing.

Over the next month as I’m reducing my anti-dep dose, I have to step up my activity in the reading, writing, + running zones. Going off the tablets means I may not be as motivated to do those things, which is why it’s even more important to do them.

:: next steps ::

Another appointment with my doctor to see how I’m tracking + when I can stop taking the tablets altogether.

A final review appointment with my psychologist in a couple of months – by then I’ll be completely ‘drug-free’.

Continue looking after myself + getting better + better!

:: why am I off the tablets so fast? ::

It’s not because I wasn’t as depressed as other people. Going by my symptoms + the scores from the very first tests I did, I was in the very high range. Each person expresses their brokenness + sickness in different ways, but we are all supposed to live in such a way that looks after our mind, body, spirit, + heart. When those things are in balance + healthy, life is better + altogether enjoyable; the way life was supposed to be lived.

:: what’s next? ::

This series is by no means over. There’s still a couple more posts I’d like to put on here – practical steps I’ve taken in daily activities, food, + more.

If there’s anything you have questions about, would like to ask or have covered in any of these posts, please please please let me know – I’d be thrilled! Feel free to shoot me an email at hello@bybethanyjae.com // tweet @bethanyjae // or send a message on the Facebook Page.

Hope these posts have been somewhat insightful thus far!! Enjoy this beautiful, beautiful day…

Much love, Bethany x

  • anna znachko

    I am SO thrilled for the near future of being off anti-deps! I was drowning in my own world of depression several years ago now, and the freedom of getting off of the pills and to replace them with sustainable, real sources of life and true joy has continued to be something I am proud of, empowered by, and happy to separated from at last!

    • http://bybethanyjae.com/ Bethany Morris

      yes! love this, Anna :) so happy + proud of you. cheering you on, x